Give Your Hand First: 5 Steps to Reconciliation with Friends and Family

Maintaining a good relationship with family and friends is very important, but sometimes we swear because of the nonsense and do not communicate for a long time. How to restore normal communication with minimal effort? Psychologists will prompt!

Assess the effect of human behavior

Is your friend always late for meetings? Is your brother gossiping behind your back? All relationships are unique, but if the problem is not solved and you need to step back, it is important to understand what exactly irritates you the most. Of course, for this you will need a bit of composure and a sober mind. Try not to intersect with this person for a while, so that you can perceive his or her and your emotions more rationally.

Pay attention to your first reaction

Are you annoyed when you find out what exactly they said about you? Are you angry or frustrated and stop talking? Why do you worry about your friend being late: afraid that she changed her mind, worried that she will not come? Immerse yourself in your emotions and analyze them to understand the root cause. Sometimes it is quite difficult. Self-criticism, inherent in your everyday life, evaporates somewhere when you think about all these problems. But you will need it if you really want to cope with the problem. In this case, a psychologist will certainly help you. You do not need long-term psychotherapy – two or three frank conversations with a specialist is enough to outline the right path towards improving relations.

Find the strongest emotion

Does it hurt you that your brother does not respect your feelings, that you do not have a voice in your own family? Do you think that a friend does not invest in a relationship like you do? Do you feel alienated? After you understand, what’s the matter, it will be easier to establish contact.

Realize your emotional needs

For one person it is more important that he or she is accepted by others, and the other feels happy when other people demonstrate their need in him or her. To be heard, included – all this can be important, but what is most needed for you? Many of us begin to be ashamed of their true motives in behavior when they realize them. This is due to a conflict of true motives, which originated from the basic tendencies of our personality with those “correct” motives that were invested in us in education. Just know that the desire to please someone else’s “correct” never leads to anything good. You will be in constant conflict not only with yourself, but with others.

Start talking You will have to take the first step yourself. Explain to a person what is touching you, but do not forget that emotional needs and reactions are different for everyone. Do not blame anyone for what they are doing wrong, build a conversation positively, try to communicate your thoughts calmly and without aggression. Learn to argue your claims, and not just to voice them. It is also important to show the interlocutor that you are listening carefully to him or her. Usually this leads to the fact that we begin to perceive each other as good friends, and not as a bored neighbor, with whom we can not divide the lawn for 20 years.