Maintaining a good relationship with family and friends is very important, but sometimes we swear because of the nonsense and do not communicate for a long time. How to restore normal communication with minimal effort? Psychologists will prompt!

Assess the effect of human behavior

Is your friend always late for meetings? Is your brother gossiping behind your back? All relationships are unique, but if the problem is not solved and you need to step back, it is important to understand what exactly irritates you the most. Of course, for this you will need a bit of composure and a sober mind. Try not to intersect with this person for a while, so that you can perceive his or her and your emotions more rationally.

Pay attention to your first reaction

Are you annoyed when you find out what exactly they said about you? Are you angry or frustrated and stop talking? Why do you worry about your friend being late: afraid that she changed her mind, worried that she will not come? Immerse yourself in your emotions and analyze them to understand the root cause. Sometimes it is quite difficult. Self-criticism, inherent in your everyday life, evaporates somewhere when you think about all these problems. But you will need it if you really want to cope with the problem. In this case, a psychologist will certainly help you. You do not need long-term psychotherapy – two or three frank conversations with a specialist is enough to outline the right path towards improving relations.

Find the strongest emotion

Does it hurt you that your brother does not respect your feelings, that you do not have a voice in your own family? Do you think that a friend does not invest in a relationship like you do? Do you feel alienated? After you understand, what’s the matter, it will be easier to establish contact.

Realize your emotional needs

For one person it is more important that he or she is accepted by others, and the other feels happy when other people demonstrate their need in him or her. To be heard, included – all this can be important, but what is most needed for you? Many of us begin to be ashamed of their true motives in behavior when they realize them. This is due to a conflict of true motives, which originated from the basic tendencies of our personality with those “correct” motives that were invested in us in education. Just know that the desire to please someone else’s “correct” never leads to anything good. You will be in constant conflict not only with yourself, but with others.

Start talking You will have to take the first step yourself. Explain to a person what is touching you, but do not forget that emotional needs and reactions are different for everyone. Do not blame anyone for what they are doing wrong, build a conversation positively, try to communicate your thoughts calmly and without aggression. Learn to argue your claims, and not just to voice them. It is also important to show the interlocutor that you are listening carefully to him or her. Usually this leads to the fact that we begin to perceive each other as good friends, and not as a bored neighbor, with whom we can not divide the lawn for 20 years.

It’s nice to be yourself, do what you want (and a little – what you must), enjoy life (and a little – be upset) … But there is always where to grow in order to become better even in your own eyes. And others will appreciate the fact of it. Here are several areas of development in which perfection has no limit.

Love

People. Work. Partner. Family. Friends. Hobby. Stop worrying about what should make you happier, but does not. Focus on the positive attitude to what already brings joy! Happiness does not come from anywhere, you can not take someone else’s happiness and be content, you just need to design your own. We know best what we want from life. Even if sometimes we lie to ourselves and others. But one day you will reach the boiling point and start to be frank with yourself. The main thing is not to miss the moment!

Be a role model

Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be that change that you would like to see in the world.” Trite, but true. You can yell at the waiter who mistook the orders, shout at the first person who accidentally stepped on your leg … And you can behave exactly the opposite – and impress them much more! Negative emotions take minutes of life, positive – add. The choice is yours.

Find time for yourself

Even if you have a family, work and a lot of things, it is very important to find a moment in your daily bustle to be alone with yourself. Understand some thoughts, feel their reactions, just sit and think about nothing.

Go in for sports

No, it’s not necessary to live in the gym, it’s enough to do exercises, run, swim from time to time – in general, do what pleases you. Contrary to popular belief, sport affects not only your appearance – it also strengthens your spirit, makes you more disciplined and more confident.

Read books

Despite the fact that the adult’s brain is not so mobile and able to learn new things, as in childhood, it is important to learn something every day. Memory is trained, curious facts get stuck in the brain, and a well-written novel brings a lot of joy. Instead of reflecting on ephemeral things or getting angry at the world, when you are stuck in traffic jams on a highway or during an especially long trip on public transport, read a book. After all, this is a real teleport, which works even cooler than the teleports in Star Trek!

Have sex

For a happy life, in most cases, healthy intimate relationships are important. It is not necessary to marry a first person at once, but to shun men, “because they have only one thing in mind,” is irrational.

Accept changes

From a new hobby, with an attitude to which you have not figured out yet, to something serious like moving to another city or country. If the changes are inevitable, what is the point of worrying about them? If you treat them calmly and even happily, life will quickly return to normal.

Sleep

It sounds ridiculous, but your mood and state of mind during the day depend on a good sleep. Therefore, if you can not get enough sleep on working days, do not be ashamed of a day’s sleep on weekends or miss a meeting with friends in order to spend time with a pillow.

In my opinion there is not a better way to get the ball rolling as a child than to participate in youth sports.  As a young girl I participated in many sports and I had such great experiences throughout the years learning what it means to not only support my fellow teammates but to learn what it is to be a woman.

My sport of choice was lacrosse and for those who do not know about the sport of lacrosse, it has been called the fastest game on two feet.  It’s kind of hard to explain the ins and outs of the game but if you want to learn more about the sport, click here.  We were taught by our coach to never give up on eachother and even if you are in your worst times, you can always count on your fellow girls to pick you up.

Now as an adult, I have taken these valuable lessons with me throughout my life and I try to never forget where I came from.  Relying on those fellow girls to win a game taught me that eventually to become truly stronger as a woman, I had to rely on others and have faith that they would support me.  I call this the “let go and let girls” mentality.  I have had an extremely successful career and I owe it so much of it to the team that was around me.

Don’t get me wrong, when it comes down to putting the work in, I have to bootstrap myself and make sure I am putting the hard work in to get the results later.  In my earlier example of my days playing girls lacrosse, I put in many hours just to improve my stick skills. The hard work I put in set me up later to be successful but ultimately I had to go back on the field and be a part of a team to TRULY grow.